It was a pleasant
November afternoon with clear blue skies and gentle sunlight marking the advent
of winter. Maya parked her car in the parking lot of a high end mall in her
city and took a moment savoring the warmth of the sun as she stepped out of the
cool air conditioned interior of her luxury sedan. The warm sunshine was
a perfect accomplishment to the happiness she felt today, the day just as
perfect as it could be.
The high-end mall that she chose to visit that
day was not too crowded, a Sunday afternoon. Maya like shopping when shoppers
are few which ensure full attention of the shop's attendant to make her
choices. She walked into the mall with the gait of a shopper who knows what she
wants. And went directly to the famous garment outlet that catered to the rich
and affluent.
Raising her Calvin-Klein glasses onto her head,
Maya looked around the store. It was spacious and well lit. Lined with the most
expensive clothing one could buy. Designer labels flashed everywhere. Maya was
happy taking stock of the colorful Winter Collection. She knew she would find
what she was looking for.
"May I help you, Madam?" a polite,
young voice asked her. Maya turned to face a young girl in familiar blue uniform
of the shops’ attendants. She appeared to be in her twenties, a slim girl with
average looks. She had her hair neatly tied into a bun and wore the mandated
make-up as the other girls. The name-tag pinned on her shirt read 'Kavita'. One
thing that struck Maya was that the looked looked extremely tired. Even the expertly
applied concealer could not hide the dark circles beneath her eyes which spoke
of sleeplessness and fatigue. Yet she stood their with a smile in her face and
a cheerful demeanor waiting for Maya's reply.
"Why yes! Thank you for asking. I am looking
for a frock for a small girl of 6. Preferably a pink one with frils. Can you
show me where can I find it?" Maya asked. "Sure Mam, please come with
this way" and the girl lead Maya to the childrens' section of the store.
Maya was glad that she had a lot to chose from.
"These are the dresses for little girls, the
ones on the left are the latest arrivals. Are you looking for causal wear?
There are some pretty jumpsuits that I am sure you will like" Kavita said
with enthusiastically.
"No, I am looking for a party dress, a pink
party frock. You know, the kind kids wear to birthday parties" Maya
replied.
"I will show you the dresses Mam"
Kavita said and continued with her conversation following store's protocol of
keeping the customer engaged and adding a personal touch to their shopping.
" Is it for your daughter, Mam? I am sure she is as pretty as you and pink
is a perfect color for her fair complexion." Maya smiled and admired
the girls effort in salesmanship! Her training complemented her pleasant,
friendly personality and cheerful attitude. She must be a star here, Maya
wondered. Maya instantly liked the girl.
Both of them sorted through the dresses, all the
while chatting about the designs and make. Kavita had understood Maya's
requirement quite well by then. She expertly handed out one piece after the
other, all of which Maya loved. She was happy being attended by such a
hardworking and diligent person rather than a sloppy, grumpy one lacking
interest.
The place was like a little's girls
paradise of dresses, shoes and pretty stuff every little girl dreams to have.
Maya remembered the time when she was a kid herself. How she had loved
shopping! She had wanted all the pretty dresses for herself. She admired the
creativity of kids' dress designers, most of them men, many of them bachelors.
Each one would have a tiny girl in mind when they sketched out the dress and
added a ribbon here, a button there.
Maya pictured her daughter in all the
dresses she liked. Her daughter looked cute in all! But she knew what her
daughter would love to have for this birthday- a pink frilly frock. Which baby
girl would not like a pink frock in her wardrobe? Complete with matching head
band and hairclips, shoes and socks. Perhaps she will get a tiny cute sling
purse to go with it too. Her daughter was growing up and she would love to have
a purse, just like her Mama. And bracelets, many of them, which she can jingle
around. She contemplated in getting a pair of pink eyeglasses to match to the
outfit, but later discarded the though as it would be too garish. My! Wouldn’t
she look pretty, just like a princess or a tiny fairy? Maya could not help
smiling to the thought. She felt very happy.
'Mam, I can see you are thinking of your
daughter" Kavita's voice got her out of her day dream. “Daughters
are like that" she continued. “You just cannot stop thinking about them
when you spot something pretty. You picture her and how her face lights up when
she opens the dress package and tries it out. Or tries the hairband. And then
hugs you and kisses you for getting her the dress. Isn't that the best thing in
the world, Mam? Makes you forget all the pain."
"Yes, that's true. Do you have a
daughter?" Maya inquired. "Yes, and she is also 6 years old, like
your daughter" Kavita replied with a smile." It must be difficult for
you then, to leave her and come to work on a Sunday. Who takes care of her at
home? Your in laws? Or your husband?"
" Yes Mam. It is indeed difficult to leave
her and come to work, but I have to, for her sake. My husband died two years
ago, in an accident at his factory. Since he was not commissioned, the
compensation we received was was not enough to sustain my infant daughter and
me. I took up this job to keep us going. The pay here is not enough so I work
overtime and on holidays to pull through. I don't want to go back to my village
because if I do so, my daughter's life will be like mine-married young without
education. I want my daughter to study and be independent. I want her to have a
good life where she can afford all she wants and does not have to struggle for
sustenance.I don't want her to go through all that I have and I am going
through" Kavita replied, her eyes smarting with unshed tears.
She went on. “Luckily I have good neighbours and
they look after her as their own child when I am away at work. Yet, I
constantly think about her, whether she has eaten or not, whether she is safe.
But I know my sacrifices are necessary for her well being and a secure future.
She is a talented girl, Madam and a very sweet child. She has somehow sensed my
pain and is never fussy."
"You know, Madam. I meet so many mothers,
like you, shopping for pretty things for their daughters. I smile and help them
with their purchases. But deep down I wish I could get my daughter pretty
dresses and pretty shoes, deck her up like a princess and give her all comforts
in the world. I feel guilty that her childhood is in poverty. Destiny can be so
harsh, Madam. She could have been born to parents like you, but chose me
instead!"
Maya could see the pain in the saleswoman's
eye along with the dream she had for her daughter. Suddenly, she felt
distressed that a mother had to struggle and be away from her young child at
lengths only to ensure her child has a better life. She wished she could
console the lady, offer kind words of encouragement, but she knew it was
futile. She couldn't change her life or take away her pain. She felt grief
creeping in to her heart and knew she needed a distraction.
"Don’t worry, all will be fine" was all
Maya could muster. Then she asked Kavita " I am too confused now with all
the dresses. Can you please choose one for me and all the accessories too? You
seem to have a better choice than me".
Kavita was back to her cheerful self and replied
enthusiastically " Sure Mam. I will be glad to." And went ahead
selecting the pink dress. It was a pretty one with tulle layers and satin
ribbons. Adding to the dress were cute hair clips and a hair band with tiny pink
satin roses. Shoes and socks in pink completed the attire. Maya was happy to
see Kavita's keen interest in collecting the ensemble. It was as though she was
shopping for her daughter and had forgotten her poverty for that moment.
"I will be at the billing. Please pack and
send it across." Maya said as she moved to the billing counter. At the
counter, Kavita was ready with her package and her now-familiar smile. Maya
paid for the purchase with one of her credit cards.
" Thank you so much for shopping here Mam.
Please do come back. I am sure your daughter will like the frock" Kavita
said handing over the package to Maya. " I will. Thanks a lot, for
everything. I hope God gives you all the help you need and the strength bring
up your daughter the way you want to. Take care Kavita" said Maya and
walked away.
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A week later,Kavita was called by the store
manager. Expecting the worse, Kavita went to the store's office to meet him.
"Kavita, there is a courier for you. Please
collect it from the warehouse when you leave for the day" the store manager
informed her.
Kavita was perplexed. Who could send her a
courier? Her parents were illiterates and there was no courier service at her
village. She did not know anyone in this city well enough to get a courier.
She went ahead with the day's chore wondering
what the package had and who had sent it. And eagerly waited for the day to
end. After her shift ended, she went ahead to the warehouse and asked for the
package. The warehouse attendant pointed out to a large cardboard box at the
corner, with her name on it. There was no sender's address.
Hastily, she ripped apart the tapes that
held the box and peered into it. And she was surprised. The box was full of
clothes, shoes, children's books, toys and dolls. All for a girl child, 5-6
years old. Kavita examined the goods. the clothes were pretty and expensive and
the shoes too. Who could have sent her such an extravagant gift??
Suddenly the flap of the box caught her
attention. Taped to the flap was a pick envelop addressed to her. Kavita opened
the envelop to find a letter on expensive writing paper. She read the letter.
"My dear Kavita,
I am not sure whether you remember me, but we met
last week when you helped me shopping for the pink frock and shared a piece of
your life with me. Your story touched a part of my life which I have not
visited in a long time and revoked feelings long buried.
I could feel, the other day, deep down you were
wishing you were me. Someone who had everything she wanted for her daughter
minus the pain and suffering. Believe me, the pain that I go through everyday
is nothing compared to your struggle. You have a daughter to go back to. Once
she comes running to you and hugs you, I am sure you forget all the pain and
the day's fatigue. When you give her a bath, feed her, paly with her, you
forget all worries. At night when she cuddles next you, you feel blessed and
bountiful watching her peaceful innocent face while she sleeps.
I dont. Because I don’t have a daughter. Or
a child. And call it destiny's cruel decision, I can never have. I will never
know how it feels to be a mother or to love unconditionally and do all it takes
to ensure your child's happiness. True, I have everything else-a big house with
all comforts, people to work for me, money to buy anything I want or go
wherever I want, a loving spouse to support me and be my companion and a great
job to keep me busy. But I don't have the only thing needed to make life
complete, a child.
In my own way, since the last seven
years, I have been trying to feel like a mother should. I shop for the kid I
don't have.I collect toys and books wherever I go. And like the other day, I
buy dresses for a daughter. At home, when grief strikes, I loving go through
the things and imagine I am mother. You may think I am mad, but trust me, this
keeps me sane. My world of make believe helps me go on.
Hearing you out that day, I realized there is a
little girl somewhere in need of these things. Someone who can really wear the
dress and play with the dolls. So I am sending you all the things I have
been storing away with the hoping that you can give it to your daughter and
make her a princess. If you look into the envelop, you will find a bank account
number. You will have money in it every month from now on. It is for your
daughter's education and all that you have planned for her and for you.
Please accept. It will make a childless woman's
life worth living for and give her the solace she never had.
Thank you dear"
-------------------------------------------The
End------------------------------------------------------
